Parenting as a Team: How to Support Each Other for Better Parenting

Parenting is one of the most rewarding yet challenging roles one can undertake. When both parents work together as a cohesive team, the benefits for the family are immense. Stress goes down and satisfaction goes up! Here are some practical tips and examples on how parents can support each other to create a harmonious and effective parenting partnership.

1. Communicate Openly and Regularly

Effective communication is the cornerstone of any successful partnership, and parenting is no exception. Make it a habit to discuss your parenting goals, strategies, and any concerns you may have.

Example: Schedule a weekly check-in where you can discuss what’s working, what’s not, and any adjustments that need to be made. This can be a casual conversation over coffee or a more structured meeting, depending on what works best for you.

2. Present a United Front

Children are quick to pick up on inconsistencies between parents. It’s crucial to present a united front, especially when it comes to rules and discipline. This is why communication will be helpful so that there is a consistent plan of action. *If this is a struggle, our Parenting 101 course can help you parent better together! Check it out here: Mind & Child (mindandchild.com)

Example: If one parent sets a rule about screen time, the other parent should enforce it as well. Discuss and agree on the rules beforehand so that both of you are on the same page.

3. Divide and Conquer

Parenting tasks can be overwhelming, but dividing responsibilities can make them more manageable. But this also applies to stepping in when one parent is overwhelmed. This may be household tasks, where one parent needs to help out more, or this could be with handling intense situations. Have you seen our video called “Tap In/Tap Out?” This is when one parent is able to give a parent a nonverbal signal that they can step away from the scenario while the other one takes over to maintain a calm environment.

Example: If one parent has been handling a tantrum for a while and starts to lose their cool, the other parent should step in and allow the other parent to take a break. The parent that takes over promises to handle the situation calmly and firmly. **If tantrums are especially hard, check out our tantrum course here: Mind & Child (mindandchild.com)

Or, if one parent is better at helping with homework while the other excels at bedtime routines, divide these tasks accordingly.

4. Support Each Other’s Decisions

Backing each other up in front of the children is essential. Even if you disagree with a decision, discuss it privately rather than undermining each other in front of the kids. We NEVER want kids to think they can play us against each other because then they will continue to do this in the future. Always feel free to fall back on, “Let me check with mom” or “Let me check with dad.”

Example: If one parent decides that a child needs a time-out for misbehavior, the other parent should support this decision. Later, you can discuss privately if you think a different approach might be better next time.

5. Be open to different approaches

Usually, couples include one parent who tends to be more focused on following rules and the other who tends to be more focused on comforting their child. Guess what? This makes you the perfect team! Learn to rely on each other’s strengths and try to merge them together. Is there a way to provide comfort and then follow-through with the consequence - usually, YES!

**Example: Try to include both aspects of your strengths – focusing on the boundary and limitations that are important for your family and stating them to your child in a calm manner.

5. Show Appreciation and Gratitude

Parenting is hard work, and it’s easy to take each other for granted. Regularly expressing appreciation can go a long way in maintaining a positive and supportive relationship. Just like kids do best when they get praise for their efforts, we do too.

Example: A simple “Thank you for handling the bedtime routine tonight” or “I appreciate how you managed that tantrum earlier” can make a big difference in how supported each parent feels.

6. Make Time for Each Other

Parenting is hard and can take a toll on a relationship. We know there are tons of stressors and activities, but it is important to make time for your relationship as a couple. This strengthens your bond and makes you a more effective parenting team. The goal is to still really like each other after the kids move out!

Example: Schedule regular date nights or even just a quiet evening at home after the kids are in bed. Use this time to reconnect and enjoy each other’s company without the distractions of parenting duties.

7. Be Flexible and Adaptable

Parenting is not a one-size-fits-all endeavor. Be willing to adapt your strategies as your children grow and as you learn more about what works best for your family. You may find that some strategies work perfectly for one kid, but do not work for the next. We have many videos on social media showing how you can respond to the same situation with different approaches and consequences.

Example: If a particular discipline strategy isn’t working, discuss alternative approaches and be willing to try something new. Flexibility shows that you’re both committed to finding the best solutions together.

That old adage really is true – two heads (or two brains) are better than one. Together, you can create a loving and supportive environment that benefits the entire family.