Strengthening the Parent-Child Bond

In the whirlwind of daily routines, it's easy for parents and children to get caught up in their own worlds. Yet, building a strong, meaningful relationship with your child is crucial not just for their emotional well-being, but for their overall development. The benefits of a strong parent-child relationship are profound and far-reaching, impacting everything from academic success to mental health.

A psychologist, Bronfenbrenner (1977) discussed how an individual is impacted by many factors in their life. However, the impact of a child’s immediate family has more influence than others (see below).

So, why exactly is it so important?

1. Emotional Security & Enhanced Mental Health: Children who feel secure in their relationship with their parents are more confident and better able to handle stress. They know they have a safe place to turn to for comfort and support. Research studies reflect individuals with a strong parent-child relationship have better life-long mental health. It decreases adolescents’ anxiety (Kerns and Brumariu, 2014; Bradford et al., 2016) and helps shape their moral behaviors (Grusec et al., 2014). There is also a link between parents outward expressions of affection, such as giving hugs and kisses, that further helps improve a child’s mental health.

Even as adolescents, those with higher levels of warmth in the relationship with their mother or father, which included good communication, time together, held academic expectations, and used discipline reported significantly higher levels of general health in young adulthood. Similarly, they reported significantly higher levels of optimism and romantic relationship quality, and lower levels of stress and depressive symptoms as young adults.

2. Improved Academic Performance: When children feel connected to their parents, they are more motivated and engaged in their education. Research studies reflect children with stronger parent-child relationships have better overall intellectual development, better language/vocabulary skills, and higher academic achievement (Brooks-Gunn & Markman, 2005; Hart & Risley, 1995). This was found to be true at the elementary, middle, and high school levels, but also even for individuals who went on to attend college.
3. Better Social Skills: A strong parent-child bond helps children develop effective communication skills and empathy. They learn how to express themselves and understand others, learn how to resolve conflict, which enhances their interactions with peers.
4. Increased Self-Esteem: Children who experience unconditional love and support from their parents develop a strong sense of self-worth. They are more likely to believe in their abilities and pursue their goals with confidence. Notably, there are new studies demonstrating the powerful influence of social media. Kids benefit when they are influenced more by their families, rather than comparing themselves to what they see online. Research studies reflect a direct correlation between time spent online/social media and increased difficulties with body image.
5. Stronger Moral Foundation: Through consistent guidance and modeling, parents help instill values and ethical behavior in their children, shaping their understanding of right and wrong. Here is an important caveat: Children who demonstrated good behavior only because of a fear of punishment (e.g., spanking) were less likely to develop their own moral compass. Let us be clear – rules and boundaries are important! You need BOTH – a strong parent-child relationship AND rules and boundaries.
6. Reduced Behavioral Issues: A nurturing relationship can mitigate behavioral problems. Starting as toddlers, they are learning how to manage their big feelings and learn skills by watching their parents. When there is a strong parent-child relationship, children are more likely to trust their parent and accept their boundaries and limitations. Children are less likely to act out or engage in risky behaviors when they feel connected and understood, even as teenagers! Think about how you respond to your boss – are you more likely to listen when you respect your boss or when you feel they are overbearing and demanding?
7. Long-Term Relationship Satisfaction: A solid parent-child relationship lays the groundwork for a lifelong bond. Children who grow up with supportive parents are more likely to maintain healthy relationships as adults.
8. Better Problem-Solving Skills: When parents actively engage with their children, they help them develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills by discussing challenges and finding solutions together. We talk about this a lot! We want our children to view us as “partners in problem-solving,” so they will continue to come to us when they struggle so we can guide them through these difficult circumstances. Each of these is an opportunity for your child to learn a strategy!
9. Increased Resilience: A strong parent-child bond helps children bounce back from setbacks. Research demonstrates this relationship helps foster brain growth and provides a “buffer” between your child and the world around them. Knowing they have their parents' support makes them more resilient in facing obstacles.

So, what can you do to help strengthen that relationship?

Really, this can be almost anything! With young children, one of your greatest tools is playing with them. If you find this tough – check out our blog on playing: How to play with your kids (even when you don't want to)

Quality time is important. It doesn’t have to be fancy or cost money – it is truly just about enjoying each other’s company and sharing an experience. Here are a few ideas to try! We suggest trying to engage in activities that do NOT involve technology as that tends to reduce communication.

1. Family Game Night: Set aside a regular evening each week for board games, card games, or check out some minute-to-win-it games! This shared time fosters teamwork and laughter. 
2. Cooking Together: Involve your child in meal preparation. Cooking together not only teaches valuable skills but also creates opportunities for conversation and bonding. This also doesn’t have to be an entire meal if that sounds overwhelming! Make simple homemade popsicles, cookies, or a fruit smoothie!
3. Reading Aloud: Choose a book that interests both you and your child and take turns reading aloud. This can enhance their literacy skills and provides a great opportunity to get in some snuggles!
4. Outdoor Adventures: Plan outings like hiking, biking, or simply exploring a local park. Have you seen our reel on making a nature bracelet? You can also make a nature scavenger hunt! Nature activities provide a break from screens and foster a sense of adventure and connection.
5. Creative Projects: Engage in art, crafts, or DIY projects together. Creating something together can be a fun and rewarding way to express yourselves and work as a team. This doesn’t have to be fancy! Anything from drawing with chalk to grabbing some regular watercolors and plain paper can work!
6. One-on-One Time: Schedule regular "date" activities with each child. Whether it's a coffee shop visit or a trip to the zoo, one-on-one time strengthens your bond! Again, these dates don’t have to be fancy or expensive.
7. Volunteer Together: Find a cause you both care about and volunteer your time. Working together for a common goal can deepen your connection and teach the value of giving back. My daughter and I (Jordana) have joined a volunteer organization this past year. Not only do we get time together, it is helping her learn about gratitude, a generous heart, and a better understanding of others.
8. Share a hobby: Kids are usually pretty interested in what you are doing! Whether its gardening, baking sourdough, or golfing, your kids want to know why you love these so much. Try to take turns - you participate in their favorite hobby and then they can join you for your favorite!
9. Learn something new together. From a cooking or painting class, try something that gets you out of your comfort zone! Check your local library or community center as they tend to host tons of new experiences!
10. Exercise Together: Participate in physical activities as a family, such as dancing, jogging, or playing sports.

Investing in a strong parent-child relationship is truly one of the most powerful ways you can positively impact your child. It’s not about grand gestures but rather consistent, meaningful interactions that build trust, understanding, and mutual respect. By engaging in these activities and nurturing your connection, you lay the foundation for a loving, supportive relationship that will benefit your child throughout their life. So take the time to be present, get involved, and cherish these moments—they are the building blocks of a lasting and fulfilling relationship.  Remember – it is QUALITY over QUANTITY!